i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
