But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
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In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
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Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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