Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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