i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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