i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
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I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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