if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker