Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Houston, we have a blender
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.