So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
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Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
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You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage