Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She told me I should be a condom model.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.