My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby