Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
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Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
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Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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