it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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