Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
