Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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