I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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