Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
