I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize