Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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