Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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