Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize