so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
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I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize