Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
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Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize