I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize