omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize