I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
I would fuck him just for his dog