God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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