It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize