I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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