Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
