just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
only if we run a train.
done.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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