i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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