Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My liver is preforming stress tests.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
