That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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