Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i think my cat just said my name.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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