WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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