it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
