It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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