Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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