We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.