If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...