i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!