hotties wanna shake it
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.