i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
did you just send me my own nude
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace