I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
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Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
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i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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