He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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