the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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