so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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