I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
