A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
two words...techno handjob
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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