How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize