we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
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I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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