You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
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i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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