That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
zippers are such a cool invention
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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