two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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