I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize