i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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