Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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