U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
party gras won. party gras always wins.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
